Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Do you have feelings for this penis?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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