I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
