I feel great
I just peed on a car
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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