is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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