Will you blow on my dice?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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