Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
