Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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