I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
