the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
