Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
