my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
