Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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