I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I wish i was in the wii world.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
