problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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