we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
