Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
