Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
