An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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