That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
