Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
