I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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