her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
