he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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