Where are you?
In a non slutty way
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
