drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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