I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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