She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Enjoy the penises
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
