To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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