I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
