Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
