is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
