Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
