how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
