Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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