did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
