Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
