but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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