i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
pray to the hookup gods
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
