I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
