It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
