question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
