My brain says no but my pants say off.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
