If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
