? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Damn victory sex feels great
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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