so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
