I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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