Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
