dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
