I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
