I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
