he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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