I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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